B Edified

I recently discovered that my nipples are hard wired to my cock. How could I not know that? I’m not much of a BDSM, or a CBT, or a dom/sub kind of guy — I like my sex the boring way. In, out, off. Some kissing (I get weak in the knees for a hickey, like I’m 14 all over). Some spooning. A blow job while driving once in a while (slow, in the country). Sex on the beach. But in the usual holes, in the usual ways. But now this nipple thing. Wow-eee! I might have to buy some clothes pins and hang out some laundry. Before long I’ll be wearing butt plugs at work all day and assless chaps on the weekend waiting for my owner to get home to play ball. And gag.

I recently discovered that my nipples are hard wired to my cock. How could I not know that? I’m not much of a BDSM, or a CBT, or a dom/sub kind of guy — I like my sex the boring way. In, out, off. Some kissing (I get weak in the knees for a hickey, like I’m 14 all over). Some spooning. A blow job while driving once in a while (slow, in the country). Sex on the beach. But in the usual holes, in the usual ways. But now this nipple thing. Wow-eee! I might have to buy some clothes pins and hang out some laundry. Before long I’ll be wearing butt plugs at work all day and assless chaps on the weekend waiting for my owner to get home to play ball. And gag.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Often in the summer, because I run, I shave my pubes and under my arms. It’s a sweat thing. Less hair, less stink (some, I know, might prefer the smell, but that’s not my fetish, and I don’t want to smell myself). Then the practical becomes sexual, as all of that smoothness IS pretty hot, even to me. Especially at night (I sleep naked, and clean sheets, tight body, no hair: I can’t resist!). Hands do roam. Until I look in the mirror, and I become a pedophile. And maybe that’s the power of it after all. I love to see another guy with shaved pubes. I don’t think I’m a closet pedophile. I have absolutely NO interest in sex with children. But to see a MAN, shaved, with all of that sexual power so blatantly, incongruously, projected, is almost like forbidden fruit. And THEN, it all becomes a bit silly and weird. Is liking smooth and lean reverting to my inner boy? My secret desire? Ah, the things that come to mind in the wee hours of the morning. My secret crush is hairy, but he said the other day that he shaves “down there.” I found that SO hot. And it’s helping me get over the hair thing, which is not usually my thing. I can’t wait to see that incongruity!

Most days I don’t wear underwear. Well, a lot of days. Something about the literal looseness that makes one figuratively looser. More projecting, too. That also, sometimes literally. It makes me feel like a hero. Or at least, cock of the walk. I am reminded of this because I saw a Tumblr shot up someone’s shorts yesterday. Muy caliente! Look ma, all glans. Only problem: no matter how much you shake & dance, the last few drops end up in your pants.

Here’s a surprise: “Several scientific studies have been performed on the erect length of the adult penis. Studies which have relied on self-measurement, including those from Internet surveys, consistently reported a higher average length than those which used medical or scientific methods to obtain measurements.” Have you ever noticed that for everything else “average” is pretty exact, but for the erect penis it’s always a wide range (say, 5.1 to 6.3 inches)? Ah, the fragile male ego. As for me, I’m huge.

Had a “discussion” with my partner last night about whether I am emotionally attached to another guy. I guess he already knows I’m physically attracted to this guy. Apparently, I called out his name in my sleep. I’m not sure I believe that, but that would be a sucky way to out yourself on the affairs of the heart and/or body. Hard to check that one. I told him it was complicated. And isn’t it always?

I just spent half the day surfing the internet, and half of that looking at porn. WTF. Women don’t do that, for sure. Thankfully, it was a crappy day or I would feel like I just wasted space. That’s time I’ll never get back. Good thing I’m not fat. Just lazy, it seems. (I don’t mean fat in a bad way. Some of us just are. Most of us could eat less, though, and move more.) I do look forward to wearing house dresses with no underwear when I get old. And walking outside in the breeze.